You are all on (unspecified) drugs

If you've ever been to a used CD store, you know that the discs are kept behind the counter, usually with the aid of an inventory system of some kind, usually computers. The CD case is filled at the point of sale. Simple.

Once in a blue moon we miss a disc, get sidetracked, you know, brain farts, whatever. Even McDonald's gives you a raping in the form of unwanted onions sometimes. (I like onions (not McDonald's))

It happens, but this time the staff was accused or being on drugs, clearly on drugs, because we forgot a disc. Followed by a backward wave, we hope you don't come back, smart lady, until you tweak your medications a bit at least.

Snocky: With Apologies From Chris Carter

Snocky: "Ahem, (snort), I would like to return this 9th season of the X-Files".

This is the same regular as the previous post.

As said regular does regularly, he goes on rather incoherently about whatever his regular problem is. In this case he's left hanging by the the end of the 9th season of the X-Files and wants the 10th.

There is no 10th! Only two crappy movies, both of which he's seen and rightfully hates. I explain this to him, followed by me pronouncing the suspiciously familiar "You know we don't actually produce these films & TV shows, right?" (See Kevin Smith, possibly Clerks?)

Perplexed, he eventually concedes and agrees that maybe they really did stop making X-Files after season 9. (I double-checked Wikipedia) Thus he wants to buy some Rolling Stones CDs, but, his daughter has his credit card. Can't be good, and neither can his daughter based upon these genes.

He has cash! All is well, but only well enough to buy one CD... Black & Blue by Rolling Stones. Done.

This will not be the end... see you tomorrow, Snocky.

(more to come)

Quote of the week

Hello and sorry the the infrequent updates. The holiday season is fast approaching, which usually makes for some of the finest behavior one can expect from an "adult".

Moving on.
This week a fairly regular customer, while exchanging some crappy DVDs decided he would seem wise, or even educated if he said to me "Well, you shouldn't look a gift horse in the anus".

...not only awkward, but lip-biting too.

Another porn incident

Do you buy DVDs?

Yes.

Do you buy porn?

No.

I have lots of porn.

We don't buy porn.

Do you want to look at it?

No.

Fine.

(man bikes away with bike trailer + two boxes of porn (40 year old virgin style))

Nice.

On the (inevitable) subject of Michael Jackson

This is a record store. This means we often sell Michael Jackson music, such as we did in a record breaking way in the hours following MJ's death.
So, to those that were not MJ fans ten minutes before his death, I must say:

"No, we've been sold out of MJ for a week now... no, we don't have Bad... no we're sold out... no, we don't have Thriller... no, Thriller is not worth one thousand dollars unless maybe it's an original vinyl pressing signed by MJ himself... yes, Thriller was scary when I was 8 years old in 1984... no, we're still sold out"

Can somebody get me a coffee?

Apornologies

I would like to formally apologize to the customer who looked at the dvd cover with the large penis pointing at a clearly photoshopped anus. There were surely some female breasts in there too, which I am aware likely offends your jesus.
Also, if you had flipped over the dvd, you would have noticed several penises for breakfast, WITH desert.
Sometimes people try to sell porn. Next time I promise to make sure these are more out of the view of the especially curious, but not necessarily everyone.
x

Cigarette?

It should be common knowledge, and one should assume the following:
One who is homeless, penniless, nicotine addicted, and insane, should not walk in to a place of business requesting a cigarette. We will not be nice to anybody under such circumstances.
Also, if we did give said subject a cigarette, it would only encourage future visits which we are trying to discourage by being somewhat rude.
The same basic rules apply to changing large amounts of loose change into bills, using the phone, bathroom, CD burner, and kleenex.
(the beer store may sell nicotine gum, and beer)
Thank you for your cooperation.
the man

Gay romance funtime-day

Here I am, stocking a pile of romance dvd's. Not long ago when I purchased it from some random stranger, there was some real gay romance that I just could not buy.
To quote Seinfeld, "not that there's anything wrong with that", it's just not something that we get in often enough to even bother trying to sell.
More than anything, I thought it was interesting, you see, most people only think of porn, and not two men against all odds, minus an academy award.

7/11 attacks

A guy walked in today and asked if we had that movie about the 7/11 attacks.

Well, I've heard of the 9/11 attacks, Madrid, 7/7, Mumbai and others, but who would want to attack the local 7/11? It would just be extra messy for everybody, what with all that Slurpee syrup.
Just imagine the horror of stale Doritos flying at you near the speed of sound, and then getting sandwich mayonnaise in your hair, OR on an open wound caused by the Doritos?
Regaining consciousness with the cashier on top of you? Probable death right there.

...Oh here's what he was looking for, and it hasn't even been released on DVD yet! Free on YouTube:



Apparently this type of thing has actually happened many times, not only at 7/11, but also the competitors of 7/11! Unbelievable. The customer is occasionally right.

People raising children on video games

So you noticed how frequently I mention video games in this blog? I can't help it for the sake of the business that I work for.
I was 5 years old one christmas morning when a miracle happened; Santa gave my brother & I an Atari 2600! It was amazing, and the first video game I ever played was Pac Man (circa 1980), followed by Kaboom (play it here) and Pole Position. My brother & I had epic Combats, my father loved Kaboom, and my mother loved Tennis, which we spent 50 bucks on a year later.
How my parents ever afforded this at the time is still beyond me, but hey, if I could afford a PS3, Wii or 360 for my kids, I'd probably splurge if they weren't totally demonic & gross.
Thankfully I don't have any kids, so it's just me & this lovely Linux computer, plus a couple of lovely cats.
None of the above is relevant to the below.
One of the less intelligent teenage mothers that I've recently met walked in with a fairly new Dance Dance Revolution game for 360 (the newest one) including the dance-pad & such.
She didn't really want to get rid of it, but as she explained, her neighbours complained about all the dancing, maybe the revolution, and possibly the baby crying about all the neglect.
I said "I can give you $25 for it... or $33 store credit" (that's 30% more and not a bad deal)
She said "ok"
I said "cash or credit?"
She said "(shoulder shrug)"
I guessed "(cash)"
I gave her $25.
She neglected the baby and started looking at video games for a while, picked one, and re-approached me.
The the game was &29.99 + tax, and this is where I had to explain that you don't get cash + credit, no, you get one OR the other.
She grabbed the baby cart, swore a lot, and stormed out.
It was confirmed the following Monday, when she phoned to inquire about this, that she in fact thought that I was giving her $25 cash PLUS 33 store credit for her stupid Dance Dance game.
It was then that I offered to give her the game back providing she return the $25, but it never happened. Instead... get this, she decided to apply for a job!
She was not hired.

*update* - She never did pick it up! Also, nobody wants to buy a stupid Dance Dance Revolution video game! It's just sitting here, gathering dust.

(currently playing: Kaboom! On the internet... fuck yeah!)

Things break & you know at least one computer geek

Attn. Customers:
Occasionally, just like your car, things break and the service(s) that depend upon that broken thing cease to serve, though usually temporarily.
In the case of a used record store, this especially means that I can NOT tell you the track listing of an, or ANY, album off the top of my head. Secondly, even if the computers were not broken, I would still NOT be able tell you the track listing of an, or ANY, album off the top of my head.
You see, we have yet to find a way for autistic people to function efficiently among the clientèle without them being our awkward slaves. Not to mention some sort of legal/moral bullshit tied in there.
Finally, (shhh) we don't really make much of any effort to find a track listing for any album that we don't have in stock because, hey, that's the way it is. However YOU, yes YOU, have the power of the internet at your fingertips, or your 10 year old nephews fingertips, or wherever, maybe the library.

Don't fret, we still love you to visit our store, we just don't want to, you know, "know you".
:)

Your cheap uncle has not evolved for the better

It's that time of year again where we ask your cheap uncle, "does the grocery store let you keep and re-use a coupon again and again after the first use until it expires?"
We knowingly expect the grocery store to say no, and so do we, like them, keep the coupon for our accounting records.

This brings me back to example #1 in 3 examples of human dysfunction from about one year ago.
Fun times I tell you.