note to customers

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL CUSTOMERS

Please do NOT attempt to sing along to The Beach Boys christmas music.
Doing this disturbs other customers & their screaming children, and often makes them forget to take their grandparents back to the home.
If you are an ex member of The Beach Boys, you are exempt from this rule with proper photo I.D.

Thank you

Dumb & Dumberer

There is, at this very moment, a 40-something man, who is a living example of the following:
It is not a good idea to drop out of school in 2nd grade and get a job in a factory for the rest of your life.
Let us observe this man for a bit...
he seems a tad quiet... wait... ohh man, he thinks "No Surprises" by Radiohead sounds like Jim Morrison. Well I never!
Now he's buying some shit... looks like music DVDs... oh yes... The Supremes, Smokey Robinson, etc etc etc.
He has finally left, and the store is calm once again.
Okay and now here comes Annoying Man & his son, Annoying Boy... (Annoying man had relations with a woman???)... and his son fielded my co-worker with a question after looking at the computer with which customers can look up our inventory, like at a library:
Annoying boy - "Can I play WOW on your computer?"
Co-worker says "What is wow?"
Annoying boy - "World Of Warcraft"
Co-worker - "NO"
Annoying boy - "oh"
end

Super-fun Saturday - pre x-mas edition

Well, I must say that this time of year can get just hairy enough to cause a blog-lag.
My apologies.
...continuing;
I think that it's very mean & cruel to accuse an entire family, especially during the holiday season, of retardation.
Today I made an exception;
Stupidest family EVER!
Father: phones ahead of time, requests everything you've ever heard on the radio in a loud/annoying voice. (I had been warned of their arrival by the end of this call)
Mother: wanders around store with loud/annoying voice bitching about how she can't watch a movie in the presence of her son, due to being stupidly loud/annoying.
Son: Wanders around store acting like an ultra-annoying combination of mother & father while acting like a five year old. (age 15 maybe)
I will point out that this particular family, while still an excellent case-study, did NOT appear to be addicted to any crack or crystal meth, were overall very friendly, and are probably surprisingly functional, whatever that means. The thing is that you just wouldn't want to, you know, visit their house, for sanity's sake.
Also, the parents appear to have originated from Newfoundland... let the newfie jokes begin!

The phone rings and I answer it;
"Yes hello, I wanted to buy a Santana CD... but I just got out of, well, umm, jail... I have a pre-paid Mastercard... she said it wouldn't be on the card for a couple days... can I just give you the credit card number... I'm calling from (enter distant city here)... do you have a Four Tet CD... (continues to give me a complete biography of the artist known as Four Tet)..."
With lots of friendly blabber in between the ...'s, I was ready to go up to (enter distant city here) and just put Mr. phoning guy out of his misery.

Only 9 days until the end of the war on christmas 07!!!

Stats followed by Amy Winehouse (cool, man)

Super-fun Saturday will come this weekend!
It's been a tad too busy to post this week, and the regular crackers have been busy tripping out on cool christmas lights while the normals have been going xmas shop crazy, so I haven't really had time to do any new posts.

I can lay down some statistics here & now though:
People calling & asking if we sell Nintendo Wii systems: up 95% from November.
People looking to buy Kenny G's christmas album: down 62% from last life.
Mothers overwhelmingly stressed out by their children's irrational video game christmas wishes: up 112% from last year. (wow)
Number of Linkin Park CD's sold on Thursday December 6: 2.


And finally, here's Amy Winehouse doing a line on stage:

Super-fun Saturday 4.0 - A crack family is a happy family

Christmas time is fast approaching, and people need money to purchase gifts, alcohol, and crack.
Number one priority? Crack.
So, in walks mother crackheadwith two Playststion Portable games, and her two aspiring young crackheads, strung out on crystal methamphetamine, and dressed to the tee in stylish dollar store hip-hop bling hats and goofey meth-smiles.
Mother crackheads' experience in the finer details of being a successful crackhead are evident with facial lesions and a basic lack of balance. But she made one major mistake!
In Ontario, one is required by law to provide government issued photo ID in order to sell goods to merchants of used goods. Mother crackhead did not have ID, but rather a bag full of random papers, legal documents, and pieces of foil.
While searching for something that maybe I'd accept as a form of ID, she continuously mumbled about how she lost it (while high?) and probably has some other form of ID. (facial lesions don't count)
Naturally, her two sons are incapable of ever owning proper photo ID, or even operating a motor vehicle, let alone a bicycle. I believe it is much more important that they fine tune their hip-hip thug lifes, be more like 50 Cent, and maybe save up some money to visit a tanning salon some day. Dreams CAN come true you know.
I was saddened by my inability to help these nice crackheads out, but I made a list of everything I hope they find under their Christmas table on Christmas morning:

• 1 Case Regular Pint size Mason Jars ( Used for canning)
• 2 Boxes Contact 12 hour time released tablets.
• 3 Bottles of Heet.
• 4 feet of surgical tubing.
• 1 Bottle of Rubbing Alchohol.
• 1 Gallon Muriatic Acid ( Used for cleaning concrete)
• 1 Gallon of Coleman's Fuel
• 1 Gallon of Aceton
• 4 Bottles of blue cough syrup
  
• 1 Pack of Coffee Filters
• 1 Electric Skillet
• 8 Tampons
  
• 4 Bottles Iodine Tincture 2% (don't get the declorized it won't work)
• 2 Bottles of Hydrogen peroxide
• 3 20 0z Coke Bottles (Plastic type)(with Lids/caps)
• 1 Can Red Devils Lye
• 1 Pair of sharp scissors
• 4 Boxes Book Matches (try to get the ones with brown/red striker pads)
• 1 pyrodex baking dish
• 1 Box exacto razor blades single sided
• 1 digital scale that reads grams
• 2 gallons distilled water
  
• 1 Roll Aluminum foil tape

It's a mullet, but it's not a mullet!

I just don't know what to call this.
Upon first glance, you say to yourself "it's a mullet", but upon further inspection it appears (to my disappointment) that it's simply long hair, slicked back, using hair gel, to form a faux mullet.
I wish I could take photos here.
The lady Mr. Faux Mullet is with is carrying a small dog with, no shit, dog shoes... 4 of them. It's sickeningly cute.
Ohh great now it's walking around with those little shoes on, probably looking for a place to piss. I have to kick them out. But they'll be back!

Super-fun Saturday 3.0

Working in a used record store always has it's perks. In this case, a shred of evidence of the existence of God.

1. "Phaya Brands" CD
It's as hot as their website; click here for some sexy Phaya Brands!
Honestly, this CD will NOT be for sale anywhere that I am employed, but it will be the joke of the week very soon.
2. "Stayin' Alive Still" by Dr. Carl Winter
Guess what? This is not, I repeat NOT a joke. To prove that I'm totally serial, click here for some sweet food health related tunes. You can even buy it online!
I cautiously listened to a couple of tracks, and while he's no Weird AL, Dr. Carl Winters is the coolest doctor at the University Of California, and maybe all of California.
I'd also like to apologize to my coworker for making her listen to that CD.
3. A pile of gospel worship CD's
I would never buy these CD's, and rarely do we put them in the store (we try to keep the gospel section to a 75 CD maximum) but rather someone wanted to get rid of them, and I was the closest used record store.
If anyone wants a pile of gospel worship CD's, well, don't ask, they'll be in a thrift store next week.

Items 1 & 2 above were brought in by none other than a weird old Newfie lady with a mid 80's Bay™ coat. She was very pleasant, and knows how to eat cod.

And now, "You Better Wash Your Hands" by Dr. Carl Winters! The video

Annoying Nerdman & Earl

"Annoying nerdman" walks in for the 20th time this month. He's a nerd of the annoying kind.
I don't mind nerds, in fact some I adore, but some are terribly terribly annoying and give all nerds a bad name.
(Nerdman walks in)
Me-"Hello"
Annoying nerdman-"Do you have Cold Fear for Xbox?"
Me-(checking computer inventory) "yes"
(moment passes)
Annoying nerdman-(holding said game) "is this game any good?"
Me-"I don't know"
Annoying nerdman- "Have you played it?"
Me-"No"
Annoying nerdman-"Oh"
And then he bought the damn thing.

I expect Annoying nerdman to come in no later than the end of next week, or this weekend, to have the same conversation with me about another game, and how he beat the last one.
Which game will he ask me if I ever played before? No idea, but I hope that it makes the upcoming Super-fun Saturday post a bit more exciting than the last one.

See the post below this for my "Theory on modern video games"

Moving on to Earl.
Earl called this morning to ask about a CD he had ordered. He was called about it (by my coworker) last evening, but apparently could not understand the message, and I suspect it may be because he's a stroke victim. (it's a guess, but he talked real funny like with a rural farmer Southwestern Ontario-like accent, which can sound like a stroke victim sometimes)
Earl did not know which CD it was, (understandalbe, okay) so I try to look up this CD by customer name, which is always an option.
Me-"Nope, no Earl"
Earl-"Well then what the..." etc etc
And Me-"Okay let me go through this pile of CD's that other people ordered..."
(And there it is! A Mannheim Steamroller Christmas CD, and the customer name is Erle.)
Me-"Oh yes here it is, I couldn't find it because Earl is spelled wrong"
Earl-"My name is spelled Erle" (I'm thinking Brad Pitt in Kalifornia)
Me-"Oh, okay, well, your..."
Earl-"Which CD is it? ...Mannheim Steamroller has a lot of CD's"
Me-"Christmas"
Earl-"Which Christmas"
Me-"It's just called Christmas"
Earl-"Alright I'll think about it"
click.
(Today I learned that Earl can also be spelled "Erle")
This dickhead requested that this Mannheim Steamroller CD be ordered. He did it from this store, he has been here before.
Yet he, at one point, had to ask where the store is located.
Remember, I never said he is a stroke victim, it's just speculation.

Well it looks like the crazies are shaping up to go out for Christmas Shopping. woot

deerp.

Stupidity vs. Video Games

I wonder more & more often about the video game people that come in here.
It would appear that they are actually getting stupider!
Are video games making people stupider?
This is open for discussion

My Mother has my ID

A lady came in today to sell a few crappy cd's, and she (according to the required ID) was a few months older than me. Ok fine & normal, duh.
Let's just say late 20's to early 30's.
Mother asked me if that thing on the counter was a "quit smoking" aid. My answer? "No, it's a white grease marker". (which we use to mark CDs for various reasons)
When I asked for the ID, she paused and her mother quickly stepped forward and announced that she was her mother and carries all of her daughters ID. All the while they were extremely nice people. So I had to wonder and be mystified; these CDs were common & popular music of the past 10 or so years. It was an average CD purchase for any used store. But I never have seen anyone that appears so normal yet so controlled by a parent, especially as this age.
This (daughter) lady seemed a tad off, but socially capable, yet I could not help but wonder what lies beneath.
(we may be best not knowing that now as perhaps we already read it in the media sometime in the past)
So, is it religion, is it an unusual case of mental illness under the care of a (freaky) parent, or is it both? Worse?
Well, I may never know, nor will I further inquire, but I do know one thing: I won't doubt the possibility that this lady in question has been institutionalized for some time. Still, curiosity abounds every corner of confronting the public on a day to day basis.
I'm going to start searching for a blog about Value Village now. Why? Because the people that go there are even crazier than Wal-Mart, that's why!
(and I will always love going there)
Anyways, is there not a crackhead out there who has some (......) CDs to sell to a used CD store? I'm getting bored this month. thanks.
x

A clown posse for the mentally challenged

I can't help but notice, especially ever since I worked at HMV several years ago, that the customers who request Insane Clown Posse are one, or both of the following:
1. Mentally handicapped
2. Wrestling fans
I think it's very nice of of the members of Insane Clown Posse to create recordings that appeal to people much the same way men in undies & crystal methamphetamine does.
Way to go ICP; you really know how to make America dumberer.

Moving on to the polo salad.
I must mention that I'm currently listening to The Dead Milkmen. It's great in that sucky customers buy stuff and leave much faster while Dead Milkmen are playing, while all the cool customers totally dig it.
If you work in a music store, try my Dead Milkmen method.
If the Dead Milkmen method works too well (stranger things have happened), then may I recommend a delightful game for you & your co-workers to play. It's called Quijibo Scrabble! It's scrabble, but with no holds barred providing you can immediately define that word you just spelled.
Try it today!

I know, nothing but positive notes today. Weird. So to finalize, after the Dead Milkmen, comes Ween live at Stubbs. An outstanding listen, and if you can't find it anywhere, then download it... it's okay, Ween don't mind.
tah

Oh wait, footnote:
A kids calls...
me: hello
kid: You guys buy cd's?
me: yes
kid: I have a whole bunch, but none of them have booklets. Can you buy them?
me: no, we require the whole package; front cover, back, disc...
kid: could you buy them and then you could just print out a new cover?
me: I could do that, but then I'd have to go buy a gun, hold it to your head, and force you to buy the cd's back with a 65% mark-up. It's a lot of hassle for a pile of crappy cd's, so I'd rather just not buy them.
kid: oh, ok. bye

I thought that was a cute & interesting phone call.

Super-fun Saturday 2.0

I must first admit that this past week has been terribly, terribly boring; slow, and downright poopy.
But I'm starting this Super-fun Saturday with a hangover, which is a decision I made last night as I closed the store and walked over to the LCBO (that's an Ontario liquor store, only 100 feet away BTW) to buy a whole whack of booze on a fine Friday night.
I drank that booze (Hamilton's own Lakeport Honey Lager I might add (sorry Brick, I still love you but I have to experiment, you know?)) and it was a blast, just drinking and pissing around on the internet, listening to music and watching epidodes of the Office & Sledge Hammer. (remember Sledge? or are you too young? Oh, and I don't' have cable... screw that shit, and welcome to the world of tomorrow)
And so, let us begin Super-fun Saturday 2.0!

Why does everyone keep asking about Guitar Hero III?
We've only had previous Guitar Hero version, hmmm, about ONCE EVER! Et pourquoi?
Just see the latest episode of South Park I suppose.

Moving to... fashion!
1. "Hooter's Racing" Nascar Jacket. ??
Yes, it's true, I'm totally serial, this guy woke up today, decided to wear his Hooter's Racing jacket, and then decided it would be a good idea to go to a music store and make the staff cringe with disgust and possibly poke at a recurring smoking habit.
2. "Green Cadyshack sweatpants" of which I can only assume were purchased at Wal-Mart.
But, OH, wait... I had to Google it... okay: http://www.webundies.com/caddy_shack_pants.htm
I think I'm going to be sick, and may also go outside for a cigarette.
3. Fresh Mullet - Saturday is mullet touch-up day!
Do I really need to explain this beyond an 8 out of 10 mullet rating?

Well it seems that people aren't quite beginning the whole christmas-freakout bit yet (mid to late November I guess) so it remains a tad slow, but I might add this:
When a tiny walk-in only/drive-thru Tim Horton's franchise is staffed with literally 10 employees on a saturday, everything can and will go wrong.
To the mini Tim Hortons staff: "You kids suck! Learn to think for yourselves before you find yourself pondering retirement while working at Tim Hortons, while serving soapy black water to unsuspecting people such as myself"

Hello Hero, Hero Guitar Hello

Sold today:
U2-Joshua Tree DVD (not CD)
Stooges-Funhouse

Purchased:
Guitar Hero 2 (finally, that'll make for one less person asking for it)
Hot Fuzz (finally, people keep telling me to see that one, but I know I'll be disappointed, or maybe not)

Anyways, these two brothers came in with most of their video games and some DVDs, obviously skipping school to get money to buy drugs with. (brings back memories)
Barely 18 each according to driver's licenses & Ontario health cards, probably fake, they seemed more like 15, but it's not like I'm selling them booze or smokes. Swell kids though.

Ah what an uneventful day so far, perhaps things will get more interesting than this postal employee asking me if we have Simply Red, while purchasing the latest yawner by the Tragically Hip.
Oh, and it's also freezing in here; the heat is broken and it's 2 degrees outside.

Good morning Rain Man, Burned Out Ozzy Osbourne Fan & Chocolate Addict

Some days start with a yawn, others with sheer terror, but today was just above yawn. It was rain man (as portrayed by Dustin Hoffman, but not the actual real rain man) and his buddy, here only buy an Ozzy Osbourne poster.
The price came to $10.25 and burnout was short a quarter. Rain man had a $20. They gave me $25 and before I could take another sip of my soap flavored coffee, they had the exact appropriate change worked out. I gave it to them and watched as they divided it down to within 0.25 of a Canadian dollar.
I was astounded; It was almost as impressive as when Dustin Hoffman's Rain Man memorized the Vegas phone book. Though it was not impressive in his ability to do very very simple math, rather the constant mumble-talk that rain man did while this transaction took place, just like Hoffman!

Shortly after that, a middle-aged woman walked in to purchase a Doobie Brothers CD she had ordered. Upon first glance, I pinned her as a pharma-junkie, the kind that don't know they're junkies and act really weird, not unlike in Requiem For A Dream.
Boy was I wrong! During our transaction, she ate as many as 5 foil wrapped chocolates! She couldn't stop. I was dumbfounded. She's totally addicted and needs serious help before her teeth rot and she gets a stomach ache.

Tuesdays suck!
Here's to looking forward to Super-fun Saturday... 4 days to go!!

American brother of RCMP official hates homeless people in an irrational way

Does that title sound terrible? It really is just that bad.
To the "brother of the RCMP officer" that came and called the cops on the drunk old man outside: you are truly an ignorant shit-head. Your attempt to tell Canadians how to deal with unsightly homeless people proved futile. Please go back to your Florida resort with your RV, and bring Wal-Mart with you if you could. Also, enjoy your heart attack on the poolside.

Now that I have that out of my system...
I thought it was funny, while the cops were taking away the old man last night, another drunk came in attempting to sell some video store DVD's.
I suggested bringing them back to the original video store, but then it became apparent that that store no longer exists. "So" I said, "take them to the adult store up the road". And he left, and the booze smell quickly subsided. (I like causing crazy drunks to get kicked out of adult video stores!)
That's all I could do.

This blog is a little bit late as I attended a (Friday night nonetheless) wedding.
Superfun Saturday will return next week most likely as I only work every second Saturday, for sanity sake. Occasionally I work 2 in a row, then 2 off. It varies.

Please buy my man-porn & a Kiss concert program

Few things make this job more worth while than strange little men that come in and try to sell man-porn.
This case was a little Italian-ish man, first placing a Kiss concert program on the counter, expecting me to buy it. "It's a collector's item you know". (I know a rock-memorabilia stores in Toronto that will give you a dollar for it, and you can sell it on Ebay for 0.50 USD).
Then the man-porn; A 4-disc collection of nuthin' but man-lovin' cocks 'n ass!
"That cost $99 on Ebay" he says, "plus shipping". (and who wouldn't pay that much for 15 hours of non-stop cock!)
He plopped a bunch of miscellaneous CD's on the counter, mostly hacked-to-shit crap that we'd never buy if it were still sealed.
To my amazement, there was one of which we sell for around $11, pretty good condition, Sorry I can't recall which CD it was. So I offer him $5. (it's just gonna get real dusty for a year before someone buys it anyway)
I tell him I can give him $5 cash, and we require (BY PROVINCIAL GOVERNMENT LAW) Government issued photo I.D., which, of course, does no sit well with this guy.
"But I got drunk and lost all my I.D." (and WTF am I supposed to do about that? Risk losing my job because you're an alcoholic crackhead? Piss right off)
After showing me a pawn shop receipt (to no avail) he asks if he can come back with someone who has I.D., and I say "yes".
So now I wait...
To be updated, hopefully.

Britney Spears takes a big black shit

Yes, today Britney Spears released a new pile of crap, entitled "Blackout".
I have no intention of buying this CD, nor do I get paid enough by this company to play it in the store. So, clearly I am destined to never ever hear this album.
Too bad for Britney; we could have been so good together.
WHAT THE HELL?
The Backstreet Boys seem to have a new CD too!
"Unbreakable" it's called. BBB's, you're already broken. Eat a bag of dicks.

On the more interesting end of the spectrum, Puscifer (Keenan from Tool evidently) released their new CD.
I wasn't exactly aware of it's release today, but when I looked at the packaging, I was delighted to see an in flight safety/emergency procedures style layout, and the CD is well worth a listen, but I don't plan to buy it.

But, I'm not here to review albums as you can tell, I'm here to rant about the wankers that come in here all the time.

Once again, somebody ordered a DVD box set over the internet, and expected it to get here the next day. As though while you sit in front of your computer in your cozy home office, ordering stuff, I drive all over the place to get your order to you, asap.
The reality is that couriers can only go so fast, and I assume that most of them smoke a lot of weed and never go over the speed limit. (who wouldn't? That Toronto-Windsor route must be sweet)

And now it's time for FAQ!
Q: Do you have any DJ Crap?
A: No
Q: Is this 50 Cent's new CD?
A: Yes
Q: Is this 50 Cent's new CD?
A: No, that's the older one, and what did I just tell you?
Q: Am I fat?
A: You're chunky.
Q: Do you have the guy who was on Canadian Idol last night?
A: No, and we stopped carrying last years winner 6 months after he won. Please don't ask about *** Idol, it gives me nightmares.
Q: Do you have a washroom I can use?
A: No, but there's lots of fast food restaurants to shit on around here.
Q: Why won't you give me what I paid for this fairly new video game?
A: It's no longer new and you've been storing it on your dirty floor for the past 4 months. Please take it to Wal-Mart.
Q: Do you have any Hank Williams II?
A: Why Hank II when you can get Hank Sr. or Hank III? Just cut out the middle man. Please help make the world a little better for everyone, try to listen to good country music.

Super-fun Saturdays

Saturday is indeed a fine day to work at a used CD/DVD store. It is the day that people clean out their ex's media collection and bring it over to the used shop. It is the day that people wake up with their stolen goods from the previous night, so to bring them to a used goods store. It is the day that dysfunctional families head out for brunch, followed by some sweet discount shopping.
And what better place to purchase an album or a movie than a used retailer, as well as video games, to keep the kids (permission to use term "howler monkeys") occupied while the parents fight in the kitchen on a Saturday night.
Let's begin:

Last Saturday, Sell That/Buy This did not exist. It was by no means an exciting day as we're only leading up to the Christmas season and it's a tad slow right now, but the highlight certainly was (and considering my own crappy financial situation at the moment) a lovely lady coming in and donating a box of CDs to our store.
Yes, we accept donations, but rest assured that the staff will profit before the store does.
Let's just say that the staff, and especially myself did enjoy some wonderful cases of fine Canadian beer that night, not to mention some fine local establishments.

Moving on to today:
I often get a coffee on my way in in the mornings. I have literally no choice but to go to Tim Horton's, unless I wake up early enough to make my own coffee at home. (rarely on weekends)
Tim Horton sucks! The best description of their coffee came last year from an Australian man: "It tastes like soapy water". And coffee aside, all their food is very questionable, and yet people haven't begun to realize that Tim Horton's food is no better than that of any common fast food chain. Crap crap crap.

Moving on to our wonderful clientelle:
A large & moody old man walks in to the store with a dirty old bad of VHS tapes. He asks, "Do you buy VHS tapes?" And is promptly answered "No". (take it to Value Village please)
He seems perplexed by our inability to purchase these priceless antiques so that he might be able to retire first thing on Monday morning.
"Well, I have some CD's" he says, plopping them on the counter.
So, my coworker & I start sorting through about 10 CD's that look like they've been sitting in the back of a greasy restaurant kitchen for the past 10 years.
One CDR (I put it in the computer to find it's a Queen mix CD)
Boyz II Men in Whitney Houston case.
Wu Tang Clan... we can buy that for $1 cause it's in okay condition.
Michael Bolton... in Tragically Hip case.
Bush (x), we can buy that for $1 cause it's in okay condition but totally sucks and nobody will ever buy it again.
Let's not waste any more time on the rest of this landfill site. "We can offer you $2 cash for Wu Tang & Bush, and that's all we can do" (We would offer $4 store credit, but we don't want to look at you ever again)
As required by Ontario law, we are required to ask anyone & everyone who sells this stuff to us for Government issued photo ID. We ask, and man is suddenly infuriated and frustrated. "KEEP IT THEN!" he says as he storms out of the store, never to return, and of course he keeps the priceless antique VHS collection so he may be able to retire some day, hopefully Monday.

I must admit that it is terribly saddening to see people experience such misery over such unimportant things (all the freakin' time I might add), however, it makes my job all that much more interesting.
Love.

Daddy, how to you rip off a cd/dvd store?

There was one fine afternoon several months ago in which a man came in to the store with his 6 year old daughter. He was carrying a copy of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", I think it was.

He says "I borrowed this from a friend last week, and he failed to tell me that it doesn't work"
I says: "Did your "friend" include the receipt with the DVD?"
He says: "Well, no"
(Daughter watches on... learning from superhero daddy)
I says: "Well you can't just return a random DVD without a receipt, and we also have a seven day exchange policy"
He says: "Tell you what, I'll just leave it here" (throws it on the counter, raises voice considerably) "You can rip someone else off with it now" (storms out of the store like an angry 6 year old, with 6 year old daughter in tail)
I immediately tossed the DVD in question in the garbage. Had he not been with his daughter, I would have thrown it back at him outside, and that would've been fun!
I never had a chance to inform him that we BUY DVDs here, or to point at the big signs that read the same. I suppose he's illiterate.

This man must be super busy with his really great friends, and all the while raising & teaching his daughter how to act in public and conduct business.

Day 1

Welcome to day 1 of Sell That/Buy This.
I begin with yesterday; Tuesday - New albums by Ween & Neil Young have been released. It's very exciting, except I can not play Track 6 (My Own Bare Hands) from Ween's La Cucaracha, due to "She can be my cock professor... she can get her phd in fucking me".
Ween & Neil Young aside, today started out with one of those younger customer who should probably be in school, but is instead buying cheap DVD's with her boyfriend who speaks early 90's slang.

Yesterday, a guy called to ask if we "have any of those DJ CD's".
ME: How do you mean DJ CD's?
HIM: Well, the DJ we hired for this weekend backed out, and I was wondering if you had one of those CD's that DJ's use to play all their musc, what're they called... you know... a CD with a lot of different music on it.
ME: Well, we do have lots of compilation CDs, lot's of genres, film soundtracks, and even more crap that you better not try trading in after next weekend. Besides, CD's typically only hold up to 80 minutes of music anyway, so you probably want a whole bunch of CD's, so don't call, just come in, or buy a computer and get your kids to show you how to rip CD's in to iTunes.
That last run-on sentence pretty much shut him up.

Today:
Our local drunken hermit has just requested that I turn on the outdoor speaker... done. He's totally wasted, but fairly cheerful when not cursing randomly with tourettes.
The owner has also requested that we not let him sit/lay down in front of the store, as it smells like alcohol, cigarettes, and stale old man.

We sell crappy PC games on consignment for 6.99 each, and it looks like more have been stolen than sold (about 8 hawked in total, but why do we sell that crap anyway?)

Refreshing: A elderly lady just traded a Rod Steward CD, given to her as a gift, for Tom Waits. That's even cooler than my mother.

We just got a steel band Christmas CD handed in for the owner of the store. Christmas is saved!

The HMV guy just told me about when his store was broken in to years ago, and then the next day all his stolen stuff ended up here! Culprit arrested. Bad criminal, no crack.

I've been trying to catch a fly with a CD jewel case; no luck.

UPADATE: I just caught a fly with a CD jewel case! Hooray!