It's a mullet, but it's not a mullet!

I just don't know what to call this.
Upon first glance, you say to yourself "it's a mullet", but upon further inspection it appears (to my disappointment) that it's simply long hair, slicked back, using hair gel, to form a faux mullet.
I wish I could take photos here.
The lady Mr. Faux Mullet is with is carrying a small dog with, no shit, dog shoes... 4 of them. It's sickeningly cute.
Ohh great now it's walking around with those little shoes on, probably looking for a place to piss. I have to kick them out. But they'll be back!

Super-fun Saturday 3.0

Working in a used record store always has it's perks. In this case, a shred of evidence of the existence of God.

1. "Phaya Brands" CD
It's as hot as their website; click here for some sexy Phaya Brands!
Honestly, this CD will NOT be for sale anywhere that I am employed, but it will be the joke of the week very soon.
2. "Stayin' Alive Still" by Dr. Carl Winter
Guess what? This is not, I repeat NOT a joke. To prove that I'm totally serial, click here for some sweet food health related tunes. You can even buy it online!
I cautiously listened to a couple of tracks, and while he's no Weird AL, Dr. Carl Winters is the coolest doctor at the University Of California, and maybe all of California.
I'd also like to apologize to my coworker for making her listen to that CD.
3. A pile of gospel worship CD's
I would never buy these CD's, and rarely do we put them in the store (we try to keep the gospel section to a 75 CD maximum) but rather someone wanted to get rid of them, and I was the closest used record store.
If anyone wants a pile of gospel worship CD's, well, don't ask, they'll be in a thrift store next week.

Items 1 & 2 above were brought in by none other than a weird old Newfie lady with a mid 80's Bay™ coat. She was very pleasant, and knows how to eat cod.

And now, "You Better Wash Your Hands" by Dr. Carl Winters! The video

Annoying Nerdman & Earl

"Annoying nerdman" walks in for the 20th time this month. He's a nerd of the annoying kind.
I don't mind nerds, in fact some I adore, but some are terribly terribly annoying and give all nerds a bad name.
(Nerdman walks in)
Me-"Hello"
Annoying nerdman-"Do you have Cold Fear for Xbox?"
Me-(checking computer inventory) "yes"
(moment passes)
Annoying nerdman-(holding said game) "is this game any good?"
Me-"I don't know"
Annoying nerdman- "Have you played it?"
Me-"No"
Annoying nerdman-"Oh"
And then he bought the damn thing.

I expect Annoying nerdman to come in no later than the end of next week, or this weekend, to have the same conversation with me about another game, and how he beat the last one.
Which game will he ask me if I ever played before? No idea, but I hope that it makes the upcoming Super-fun Saturday post a bit more exciting than the last one.

See the post below this for my "Theory on modern video games"

Moving on to Earl.
Earl called this morning to ask about a CD he had ordered. He was called about it (by my coworker) last evening, but apparently could not understand the message, and I suspect it may be because he's a stroke victim. (it's a guess, but he talked real funny like with a rural farmer Southwestern Ontario-like accent, which can sound like a stroke victim sometimes)
Earl did not know which CD it was, (understandalbe, okay) so I try to look up this CD by customer name, which is always an option.
Me-"Nope, no Earl"
Earl-"Well then what the..." etc etc
And Me-"Okay let me go through this pile of CD's that other people ordered..."
(And there it is! A Mannheim Steamroller Christmas CD, and the customer name is Erle.)
Me-"Oh yes here it is, I couldn't find it because Earl is spelled wrong"
Earl-"My name is spelled Erle" (I'm thinking Brad Pitt in Kalifornia)
Me-"Oh, okay, well, your..."
Earl-"Which CD is it? ...Mannheim Steamroller has a lot of CD's"
Me-"Christmas"
Earl-"Which Christmas"
Me-"It's just called Christmas"
Earl-"Alright I'll think about it"
click.
(Today I learned that Earl can also be spelled "Erle")
This dickhead requested that this Mannheim Steamroller CD be ordered. He did it from this store, he has been here before.
Yet he, at one point, had to ask where the store is located.
Remember, I never said he is a stroke victim, it's just speculation.

Well it looks like the crazies are shaping up to go out for Christmas Shopping. woot

deerp.

Stupidity vs. Video Games

I wonder more & more often about the video game people that come in here.
It would appear that they are actually getting stupider!
Are video games making people stupider?
This is open for discussion

My Mother has my ID

A lady came in today to sell a few crappy cd's, and she (according to the required ID) was a few months older than me. Ok fine & normal, duh.
Let's just say late 20's to early 30's.
Mother asked me if that thing on the counter was a "quit smoking" aid. My answer? "No, it's a white grease marker". (which we use to mark CDs for various reasons)
When I asked for the ID, she paused and her mother quickly stepped forward and announced that she was her mother and carries all of her daughters ID. All the while they were extremely nice people. So I had to wonder and be mystified; these CDs were common & popular music of the past 10 or so years. It was an average CD purchase for any used store. But I never have seen anyone that appears so normal yet so controlled by a parent, especially as this age.
This (daughter) lady seemed a tad off, but socially capable, yet I could not help but wonder what lies beneath.
(we may be best not knowing that now as perhaps we already read it in the media sometime in the past)
So, is it religion, is it an unusual case of mental illness under the care of a (freaky) parent, or is it both? Worse?
Well, I may never know, nor will I further inquire, but I do know one thing: I won't doubt the possibility that this lady in question has been institutionalized for some time. Still, curiosity abounds every corner of confronting the public on a day to day basis.
I'm going to start searching for a blog about Value Village now. Why? Because the people that go there are even crazier than Wal-Mart, that's why!
(and I will always love going there)
Anyways, is there not a crackhead out there who has some (......) CDs to sell to a used CD store? I'm getting bored this month. thanks.
x

A clown posse for the mentally challenged

I can't help but notice, especially ever since I worked at HMV several years ago, that the customers who request Insane Clown Posse are one, or both of the following:
1. Mentally handicapped
2. Wrestling fans
I think it's very nice of of the members of Insane Clown Posse to create recordings that appeal to people much the same way men in undies & crystal methamphetamine does.
Way to go ICP; you really know how to make America dumberer.

Moving on to the polo salad.
I must mention that I'm currently listening to The Dead Milkmen. It's great in that sucky customers buy stuff and leave much faster while Dead Milkmen are playing, while all the cool customers totally dig it.
If you work in a music store, try my Dead Milkmen method.
If the Dead Milkmen method works too well (stranger things have happened), then may I recommend a delightful game for you & your co-workers to play. It's called Quijibo Scrabble! It's scrabble, but with no holds barred providing you can immediately define that word you just spelled.
Try it today!

I know, nothing but positive notes today. Weird. So to finalize, after the Dead Milkmen, comes Ween live at Stubbs. An outstanding listen, and if you can't find it anywhere, then download it... it's okay, Ween don't mind.
tah

Oh wait, footnote:
A kids calls...
me: hello
kid: You guys buy cd's?
me: yes
kid: I have a whole bunch, but none of them have booklets. Can you buy them?
me: no, we require the whole package; front cover, back, disc...
kid: could you buy them and then you could just print out a new cover?
me: I could do that, but then I'd have to go buy a gun, hold it to your head, and force you to buy the cd's back with a 65% mark-up. It's a lot of hassle for a pile of crappy cd's, so I'd rather just not buy them.
kid: oh, ok. bye

I thought that was a cute & interesting phone call.

Super-fun Saturday 2.0

I must first admit that this past week has been terribly, terribly boring; slow, and downright poopy.
But I'm starting this Super-fun Saturday with a hangover, which is a decision I made last night as I closed the store and walked over to the LCBO (that's an Ontario liquor store, only 100 feet away BTW) to buy a whole whack of booze on a fine Friday night.
I drank that booze (Hamilton's own Lakeport Honey Lager I might add (sorry Brick, I still love you but I have to experiment, you know?)) and it was a blast, just drinking and pissing around on the internet, listening to music and watching epidodes of the Office & Sledge Hammer. (remember Sledge? or are you too young? Oh, and I don't' have cable... screw that shit, and welcome to the world of tomorrow)
And so, let us begin Super-fun Saturday 2.0!

Why does everyone keep asking about Guitar Hero III?
We've only had previous Guitar Hero version, hmmm, about ONCE EVER! Et pourquoi?
Just see the latest episode of South Park I suppose.

Moving to... fashion!
1. "Hooter's Racing" Nascar Jacket. ??
Yes, it's true, I'm totally serial, this guy woke up today, decided to wear his Hooter's Racing jacket, and then decided it would be a good idea to go to a music store and make the staff cringe with disgust and possibly poke at a recurring smoking habit.
2. "Green Cadyshack sweatpants" of which I can only assume were purchased at Wal-Mart.
But, OH, wait... I had to Google it... okay: http://www.webundies.com/caddy_shack_pants.htm
I think I'm going to be sick, and may also go outside for a cigarette.
3. Fresh Mullet - Saturday is mullet touch-up day!
Do I really need to explain this beyond an 8 out of 10 mullet rating?

Well it seems that people aren't quite beginning the whole christmas-freakout bit yet (mid to late November I guess) so it remains a tad slow, but I might add this:
When a tiny walk-in only/drive-thru Tim Horton's franchise is staffed with literally 10 employees on a saturday, everything can and will go wrong.
To the mini Tim Hortons staff: "You kids suck! Learn to think for yourselves before you find yourself pondering retirement while working at Tim Hortons, while serving soapy black water to unsuspecting people such as myself"

Hello Hero, Hero Guitar Hello

Sold today:
U2-Joshua Tree DVD (not CD)
Stooges-Funhouse

Purchased:
Guitar Hero 2 (finally, that'll make for one less person asking for it)
Hot Fuzz (finally, people keep telling me to see that one, but I know I'll be disappointed, or maybe not)

Anyways, these two brothers came in with most of their video games and some DVDs, obviously skipping school to get money to buy drugs with. (brings back memories)
Barely 18 each according to driver's licenses & Ontario health cards, probably fake, they seemed more like 15, but it's not like I'm selling them booze or smokes. Swell kids though.

Ah what an uneventful day so far, perhaps things will get more interesting than this postal employee asking me if we have Simply Red, while purchasing the latest yawner by the Tragically Hip.
Oh, and it's also freezing in here; the heat is broken and it's 2 degrees outside.

Good morning Rain Man, Burned Out Ozzy Osbourne Fan & Chocolate Addict

Some days start with a yawn, others with sheer terror, but today was just above yawn. It was rain man (as portrayed by Dustin Hoffman, but not the actual real rain man) and his buddy, here only buy an Ozzy Osbourne poster.
The price came to $10.25 and burnout was short a quarter. Rain man had a $20. They gave me $25 and before I could take another sip of my soap flavored coffee, they had the exact appropriate change worked out. I gave it to them and watched as they divided it down to within 0.25 of a Canadian dollar.
I was astounded; It was almost as impressive as when Dustin Hoffman's Rain Man memorized the Vegas phone book. Though it was not impressive in his ability to do very very simple math, rather the constant mumble-talk that rain man did while this transaction took place, just like Hoffman!

Shortly after that, a middle-aged woman walked in to purchase a Doobie Brothers CD she had ordered. Upon first glance, I pinned her as a pharma-junkie, the kind that don't know they're junkies and act really weird, not unlike in Requiem For A Dream.
Boy was I wrong! During our transaction, she ate as many as 5 foil wrapped chocolates! She couldn't stop. I was dumbfounded. She's totally addicted and needs serious help before her teeth rot and she gets a stomach ache.

Tuesdays suck!
Here's to looking forward to Super-fun Saturday... 4 days to go!!

American brother of RCMP official hates homeless people in an irrational way

Does that title sound terrible? It really is just that bad.
To the "brother of the RCMP officer" that came and called the cops on the drunk old man outside: you are truly an ignorant shit-head. Your attempt to tell Canadians how to deal with unsightly homeless people proved futile. Please go back to your Florida resort with your RV, and bring Wal-Mart with you if you could. Also, enjoy your heart attack on the poolside.

Now that I have that out of my system...
I thought it was funny, while the cops were taking away the old man last night, another drunk came in attempting to sell some video store DVD's.
I suggested bringing them back to the original video store, but then it became apparent that that store no longer exists. "So" I said, "take them to the adult store up the road". And he left, and the booze smell quickly subsided. (I like causing crazy drunks to get kicked out of adult video stores!)
That's all I could do.

This blog is a little bit late as I attended a (Friday night nonetheless) wedding.
Superfun Saturday will return next week most likely as I only work every second Saturday, for sanity sake. Occasionally I work 2 in a row, then 2 off. It varies.