It's a mullet, but it's not a mullet!

I just don't know what to call this.
Upon first glance, you say to yourself "it's a mullet", but upon further inspection it appears (to my disappointment) that it's simply long hair, slicked back, using hair gel, to form a faux mullet.
I wish I could take photos here.
The lady Mr. Faux Mullet is with is carrying a small dog with, no shit, dog shoes... 4 of them. It's sickeningly cute.
Ohh great now it's walking around with those little shoes on, probably looking for a place to piss. I have to kick them out. But they'll be back!