Super-fun Saturday 4.0 - A crack family is a happy family

Christmas time is fast approaching, and people need money to purchase gifts, alcohol, and crack.
Number one priority? Crack.
So, in walks mother crackheadwith two Playststion Portable games, and her two aspiring young crackheads, strung out on crystal methamphetamine, and dressed to the tee in stylish dollar store hip-hop bling hats and goofey meth-smiles.
Mother crackheads' experience in the finer details of being a successful crackhead are evident with facial lesions and a basic lack of balance. But she made one major mistake!
In Ontario, one is required by law to provide government issued photo ID in order to sell goods to merchants of used goods. Mother crackhead did not have ID, but rather a bag full of random papers, legal documents, and pieces of foil.
While searching for something that maybe I'd accept as a form of ID, she continuously mumbled about how she lost it (while high?) and probably has some other form of ID. (facial lesions don't count)
Naturally, her two sons are incapable of ever owning proper photo ID, or even operating a motor vehicle, let alone a bicycle. I believe it is much more important that they fine tune their hip-hip thug lifes, be more like 50 Cent, and maybe save up some money to visit a tanning salon some day. Dreams CAN come true you know.
I was saddened by my inability to help these nice crackheads out, but I made a list of everything I hope they find under their Christmas table on Christmas morning:

• 1 Case Regular Pint size Mason Jars ( Used for canning)
• 2 Boxes Contact 12 hour time released tablets.
• 3 Bottles of Heet.
• 4 feet of surgical tubing.
• 1 Bottle of Rubbing Alchohol.
• 1 Gallon Muriatic Acid ( Used for cleaning concrete)
• 1 Gallon of Coleman's Fuel
• 1 Gallon of Aceton
• 4 Bottles of blue cough syrup
  
• 1 Pack of Coffee Filters
• 1 Electric Skillet
• 8 Tampons
  
• 4 Bottles Iodine Tincture 2% (don't get the declorized it won't work)
• 2 Bottles of Hydrogen peroxide
• 3 20 0z Coke Bottles (Plastic type)(with Lids/caps)
• 1 Can Red Devils Lye
• 1 Pair of sharp scissors
• 4 Boxes Book Matches (try to get the ones with brown/red striker pads)
• 1 pyrodex baking dish
• 1 Box exacto razor blades single sided
• 1 digital scale that reads grams
• 2 gallons distilled water
  
• 1 Roll Aluminum foil tape